Thursday, May 13, 2010

Ramblings on mindful purchasing, and truths from my ten-year-old self...

Somehow today I got to thinking about advertisement, and how our whole culture has been so profoundly shaped by the whims of giant companies.  It used to be there was a demand for something, and people would make that something and sell it; now we've got it backwards, with companies dreaming up things that they think we need (or that would just garner them a profit, if they could only get us addicted to it), and then influencing our minds with fancy-shmancy advertising until we are convinced we need that thing.  Take soap, for example.  A little bit of research today on laundry detergents (thanks to Karen, I'm looking into soap nuts) made me really realize how brainwashed we've been by the good folks at the chemical laboratories who are churning out our cleaning products.  We really believe that something has to have a billion chemicals, a heavy smell, and a ton of suds in order to get something clean.  Maybe that really is true (I haven't tried the soap nuts yet), but certainly in the days of our forefathers, they didn't have access to cleaning enzymes, fabric brighteners, etc, and they seemed to do just fine.

Anyway, it just makes you think about why we buy the things we do.  About the power of "brand", and the psychology of purchasing.  One of the best decisions my husband and I made, going into marriage, was to forego cable t.v.  We do *have* a t.v., I'm not opposed to t.v. on principle, but we were cheap, and didn't want to fork over $60+ a month for a ton of channels we'd rarely have the time to watch.  Plus we figured it'd be better for us to choose to watch what we wanted to watch purposefully, rather than be sucked into mindless surfing every night, "because it's there" and because we needed to get our money's worth out.  So we do Netflix, and watch a few programs online through their respective networks, and that's it.  An unexpected benefit is not being exposed to all that advertising, the endless stream of commercials telling us about things that we Just. Must. Have.  As a result, I rarely notice new products until they reach the grocer's shelf, where it's a little easier to make an informed (rather than pre-formed, by the manufacturer) decision as to their utility for my life.

I've found, since I've been trying to operate within a much more frugal budget, and at the same time trying to be more "green" in the things that I do buy (though still a long way from the choices I would like to or probably could choose to make), that the things that I "must have" have significantly shrunk in number; I am slowly detoxing from the consumerist mindset.  There are still things that I'd really *like* to have, but I am learning (albeit very slowly) that things do not equal happiness, and therefore that I shouldn't seek things as a means to try and find it.

For instance, I got more joy out of laying on my back in the yard today while LW crawled all over me and "showed" me flowers and grass, than buying any of the things on my "want" list would have brought.

One of my goals for this summer is to really live those simple, free, pleasures to the hilt - to reawaken my inner ten year old, who knew that all the treasures necessary for a great summer could be found in my grandmother's attic, kitchen, and rag-bag.  I want to rewaken that person, so that she in turn can help me teach my own daughter the same timeless truths.

8 comments:

Karen said...

I'm glad you're looking into the soap nuts! Like you, my husband and I decided against paying for cable, since the only reason we'd want to watch it is if it were there. And we want to raise our kids with creative ideas to be entertained, not just flipping on the TV. Anyways, we have a blockbuster card, and with this kind of card I have, blockbuster rewards, you pay a yearly fee, and then you get a free rental every month. The fee is the same amount of I think 2 rentals. Just another idea, if you were interested. I'm not sure if they still have it, since it's been 3 years since I got it, and didn't renew it this year.

Karen said...

ps - the link you have is actually for my sister-in-law. My blog is http://imitationofmary.blogspot.com/

Abby said...

Hi Karen! Thanks for correcting my link, I was kind of confused about that!

I ordered a trial size of soap nuts; we'll see how they do on my regular laundry, and maybe I'll give them a whirl on the diapers. You cloth diaper, right? Do you use prefolds and covers or something more like the pocket diapers?

I totally agree with your philosophy on raising kids who can find creative ways to entertain themselves, rather than tv. One of my most memorable "entertainments" as a child was making "operation dolls" with my cousin - we used a medical textbook to make biologically correct (as in, having all the correct organs, rather than anatomically correct on the outside) "dolls" out of various household materials (mainly worn out pantyhose). It was totally educational, and we had a blast doing it - completely self-directed, as no one suggested it or oversaw the project. I'd like my kids to develop that same sort of love for learning.

Oh - and I thought about doing Blockbuster, but Netflix is cheaper - $9/mo gets one dvd out at a time, plus unlimited online watching. Our laptop plugs into the tv, so we can watch that or network programs via Hulu when we want. We used to rent movies, but at $4 a pop it ended up costing us a lot more. Glad to know we're not the only young couple without cable - when I tell people that, they usually look at me like I have an extra head.

Karen said...

I actually haven't tried the soap nuts, my sister-in-law loves them though, and had similar problems that you did. We use regular laundry detergent, Tide (only we get the perfume/dye-free stuff.). So I hope it goes well!

I do clothe diaper, yes. We got pre-folds, but have had issues finding plastic covers because our son's legs are sooo skinny!! So there was major leaking problems. We also have tried the kind with inserts. We borrowed my sister-in-law's fuzzibunz, and they are GREAT. I like them a lot. My only regret is I don't have more, so I have to do laundry daily. And we've gotten more disposables than we know what to do with (well, if we weren't doing clothe we wouldn't have enough disposables), so we use those when it's easier, like going out places or traveling, or when parents babysit, etc.

Someone where I used to work actually asked me what I did in the evenings without a TV. It's amazing that people have no other source of enjoyment. What happened to game nights, and reading? My husband and I are reading the LOTR out loud right now.

Anonymous said...

wasn't being ten such a magical time? I think that was one of my favorite childhood years.

I completely agree about the cable-- I grew up just fine without TV and I will never ever actually pay money to have that stuff in my house. I do enjoy a good movie, however-- so Netflix YAY!

Soap and cleaning products in general are a passionate subject of mine. My father, who is a personal injury lawyer, spent years trying to force cleaning companies to actually tell you what they put in their bottles. Right now, they only have to label "active ingredients," which generally make up, at most, 1%. The rest (labeled "inert ingredients") is just filler and tends to be whatever they can buy up cheaply-- often times (especially in aerosol cans) it is petroleum byproducts.

Anyway, I either make my own cleaner-- (vinegar + water = best all purpose cleaner ever), or only buy detergents that have every ingredient listed.

Kuddos to you for cloth diapering :) I did pre-folds for the first two months, but then my son outgrew the newborn size and since his nursery won't cloth diaper I didn't buy the infant pre-folds. I used Bummis covers, however, and never had a leak-- day or night (of course, my kid has thunder thighs...haha). They also withstood washing really well. Two months of constant use and I would say they are in like-new condition. I will definitely be using them on my next baby.

Karen said...

My mom calls my nephews "thunder thighs!" Now she's adjusting to my son w/ skinny legs.

Abby said...

Thanks for the kudos but we aren't actually cloth diapering at this point... the rash won, so it's been huggies exclusively since around 6 mos. But I am looking back into the cloth, and even toying with making a few pocket diapers to test out (cheaper to buy fabric than the finished product) and see if her skin is a little less sensitive now.

Thunder thighs - yep, my daughter went through that stage too, and my dad called me thunder thights when I was about 3 mos old. He said I was never going to fit into a bathing suit.. then I started growing upwards instead of sideways, and was only 29 pounds at 5.

Karen said...

http://verybaby.com/ecom-prodshow/one-size-pocket-diaper-pattern.html

Mt mom sent this to me. I don't know if you have a pattern, but this site has some.