However, I've decided that an occasional shout into the void is better than nothing, and that in order to make that happen, I have to be less concerned about writing in a polished fashion, and just start, for the time being, with putting something out there.
So without further ado, a quick catch up of happenings since last June:
1) We spent most of the month of July dealing with a flooded basement. Not fun times. But since my "word" for last year was Flow, as in, going with the flow, it was a curiously appropriate challenge to go through.
2) We signed up for a vegetable CSA last year (summer, and then again in winter) and have LOVED having so many fresh veggies coming into the house. It has really helped my cooking skills, too, and I am slowly learning to cook more creatively with what I have on hand, and less from recipes or grand plans for each week.
3) Our baby boy, who still needs a blog name (leaving that for another day!), turned one a couple of weeks ago. It doesn't seem possible that a year has gone by since his birth! The first year of my daughter's life seemed so interminably long, and I expected to go back to that sort of hazy baby mode... well, we did for maybe six weeks, and then it was right back to life as usual, plus one. Fortunately our little guy is such a mellow, go with the flow sort of tyke that it didn't seem like a big hassle to just bring him along on all our adventures.
4) I officially became a full time stay-at-home mom in November, when the company I'd been working for since before I got married laid off over half its staff. I was probably the only person getting the news that day who was actually really happy at the news! My husband and I had been talking for months about the need to get me out of my job, because of the stress it was putting on all of us. My daughter, in particular, was struggling with getting less attention because of having to share me with her brother, and having me unavailable an extra 10 hours per week just wasn't working. The turn around in her behavior since then (which is probably also from me being less stressed, as well as just growing older, adjusting to changes, etc) has really been remarkable.
5) I picked the word Imperfect this year for what I want to work on, pray on, etc. I realized over the last several months that I often let the perfect be the enemy of the good, in that I have a hard time letting things go at good enough. Sometimes that is a good thing, but when it comes to housework vs spending time with the kids, it's something I really need to work on. I also have a hard time staying joyful if I feel like everything isn't done, or isn't just the way I want it, so when there are worries, or stresses, or concerns over the present or the future, joy just seems to go out the window. Trying hard to be aware of this tendency this year, and to pray on it, and work on it.
6) Just as He sent lots of "opportunities" for me to *practice* going with the Flow last year, God started this year off with a big bang of an opportunity to practice being joyful even during imperfect times. My husband was laid off from his job in the middle of January, which as you can imagine isn't a great thing with me not working and us having a mortgage and two little kids to feed. It's been a long six weeks since then, but I can say with great confidence that God really is trying to teach us patience, hope, and faith through the experience... I am finding that faith really truly does act like a muscle, and my faith muscle had grown a bit weak and atrophied. This experience is making me exercise it every single day. It's an act of the will to have faith in the face of no obvious guarantees, and no obvious signs of things changing any time soon. However, early on I decided that it is better to wait well than to wait poorly, and it is better to wait with faith than without. I have the sense deep down that this is an important lesson to learn at this time in my life, because I know that as my husband, my parents, my kids, and myself all grow older, there are going to be many more times of living in uncertainties, living in less than perfect circumstances, and it would be wise to learn NOW how to wait in hope and faith despite external circumstances.
7) When I get down these days, these verses help (and I hope that, if there is anyone out there who is similarly struggling to keep on keeping on in faith, they will help you too):
James 2, 3-4 "the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking in anything."
Romans 5 3-5 "because we know that suffering produces perseverance, perseverance, character, and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us."
I'm learning these verses, not just in word, but also in truth: it is TRUE that suffering does produce perseverance, if we continually turn to God for it. I imagine myself like Peter, trying to walk on the waves...
8) And in the meantime, we're trying to live this temporary situation as a "good". After all, there won't be many times in our life, at least in the foreseeable future, when my husband will have this much time home with us! It is tough trying to balance the financial reality, i.e. that we really can't spend "extra", with how we'd like this time to be, if it were really a vacation. But we're finding low cost and free things to do that are special, just the same.
9) On a different note, we finally switched to ALL cloth diapers for my little guy. We did cloth with my daughter from about 1 to potty training, but used disposables at night. She could go all night in a single disposable, and I hated having to wake up to change her, as I needed to if we used cloth overnight, so I went the easy route with her. Then with my son, we just never questioned it; we started using BG 4.0 pockets from around a month of age with him, but kept up with the disposables overnight. Then, literally last week, we ran out of disposables, and I thought, "hey, we always have to change him in the middle of the night anyway. Why don't we just TRY cloth overnight again?" He would leak out of disposables in the middle of the night if I didn't change him, sometimes even if I did, so we were going through two a night, and then since they were in the house, we tended to use them for trips out, or when we didn't feel like stuffing a diaper. Well, miracle of miracles, I've found that a) he doesn't leak out at ALL with the cloth! and b) even though we were "only" using disposables overnight, we were still going through a box a month, and will likely save at least $250 between now and potty training by switching fully to cloth. So glad that it's finally working for us.
10) On that note, it's time to get ready for bed. I do hope, but can't promise, to be able to write more often! I really miss having the opportunity and reason to stretch my writing muscles, so I do need to make time for real writing again, even while my main focus has to remain firmly on my little "living epistles".
A gratuitous shot of me and my snugglebug to leave you with:
Oh, I just love my kiddos so much ;) It may be an imperfect life... but they remind me of just how HAPPY imperfection can be.
Peace be with you all - and if you read this, and can spare a moment, please do say a prayer that my husband will soon find a job!
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